By Sean Zucker –
It seemed like such a good idea at the moment. You’re going to be working from home for the foreseeable future, it’s the perfect time to get back in shape. 15 minutes on the treadmill when you wake up, 10 minutes after lunch, maybe a quick sprint before bed. You’d look like a Hemsworth in no time—probably not Chris or Liam but Luke seemed realistic. Look I get it, mornings are hard and obviously if you do cardio immediately after eating you’re going to throw up. Okay, so maybe you’ll never have the body of the least attractive Hemsworth. Don’t sweat it, literally, don’t sweat it. That treadmill can serve as more than a painful reminder of your failure to shed pounds. All you need is a little creative confidence and methodical retooling.
Option 1 – Drying Rack
Historically speaking, more treadmills have been used to drape clothes than drop lbs so you’re merely hopping on the bandwagon. Super useful and flexible, it’ll open up closet space for some more loose-fitting sweaters. It’s a classic for a reason.
Option 2 – Ramp
Flip the treadmill upside down and place it over the porch stairs, now you don’t have to walk up four steps to get to your front door. Not exercising can be gamble, might as well go all in.
Option 3 – Seasonal Decorations
The perched handles make for an excellent plant stand, perfect for displaying the roses you bought yourself for Valentine’s Day. For Labor Day, the surface wheel can act as a demonstration of our free market economy and its cyclical unemployment rates. Come October, put the device in the front lawn for Halloween with some fake blood, now it’s a murder-mill. At Christmas string some lights and tinsel over it call it a winter wonderland scene.
Option 4 – Spare Bed
Ideal for your creepy uncle who’s made one too many weird comments about your girlfriend. Remove the handrails and console then throw a sheet and some blankets on top and that’s a pretty convincing blow up mattress. He’ll probably be too drunk to tell the difference anyway.
Option 5 – Interpretive Art
Splatter on some neon acrylics and tie some plastic bags onto that bad boy and you’ve got yourself quite the thought-provoking piece. What’s it trying to say? Maybe if you have to ask, you’re part of the problem, huh? You’d do great in New York.