By Sean Zucker –
- Your friends pressured you into it.
- You’re first on the green.
- You’re all in a secluded field covered by trees and forest.
- You’re taking multiple unfamiliar hits that are hurting your body.
- Everyone else is wearing funky, colorful clothes.
- Other people are drinking beer.
- Your palms are sweaty.
- Actually, your entire body’s surprisingly sweaty.
- It’s making you much thirstier than you thought it would.
- There’s a lot of talk of bogeys in between hits.
- One of your friend’s is insanely angry.
- Another is going on and on about how they’d prefer this as a simulation.
- Seems like every round involves taking a greenie.
- It’s repetitive, yet exciting.
- By the end, you enjoyed yourself much more than you thought you would.
- You plan to do this at least once a week going forward.
- It’s quickly becoming all you talk about.
- Your girlfriend wishes you’d cut back.
- It’s costing you a small fortune.
- This is your personality now.
1-11, 14-16: You’re baked my friend, welcome to 8th grade.
1-20: Congratulations on your future back pain.